


Memory Remains

by Trismegistus (Lebateleur)



Category: Suikoden I
Genre: Age Difference, Devotion, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Master/Servant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5659258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lebateleur/pseuds/Trismegistus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a lull in the fight, McDohl and Viktor discuss a lost comrade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory Remains

Hey kiddo," said Viktor, dropping his bearlike frame down onto the parapet next to his friend. "Why the long face?" But he didn't really need to ask; the answer was already written on McDohl's expression.

"Still burning you, huh? Try thinking about something else sometime, hey? It won't go away, otherwise."

"No, it won't," McDohl agreed, not looking at him.

Viktor thought, not for the first time, of the hatchet resting at the bottom of the footlocker in his quarters. But this was not the time to mention it. McDohl - and he wondered briefly when he had starting thinking of _him,_ and not his father, as McDohl - was still hurting. Hurting like it was a fresh wound, even though it had been a little over a year. 

"It'll get better," he plowed on finally, "Not perfectly better, but it won't hurt as much. Trust me," he continued, seeing the doubt in McDohl's face. "I know."

 _How_ do _you know?_ The challenge flashed briefly in McDohl's eyes before the boy remembered. A whole village killed. His entire family gone because they'd _cannibalised_ one another. Yes, Viktor _would_ know, wouldn't he?

"Sorry. I know I'm bringing everyone down." Throwing Viktor's habitual jest back into his face, but without any real ire.

"Hey, no need to apologise. Everyone knows what you two were to each other." He paused. "It'll take time."

Something in McDohl's face tightened slightly. "How many members of my army have lost household staff in battle? They're able to...continue. And I...."

"Oh, come on. He wasn't just a servant."

McDohl's head snapped up sharply at the words and for the first time he looked Viktor straight in the eye.

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

"You don't have to deny it," Viktor said. He knew he was treading on thin ice here - emotions weren't really his thing, not if he couldn't joke about them. And McDohl, like this, in this mood, was not someone you joked with. McDohl might be young, but when he gave you that look, you didn't mess around with him. He was truly his father's son, from everything Viktor had been given to understand. 

"Everyone knows what you two were to each other," he said at last, carefully.

"I asked you what you meant." The kid's voice could have commanded armies. It _had_ commanded armies. 

"What Gremio...was...to you." 

The sound of Gremio's name, finally spoken aloud, seemed to drain the fight from McDohl. His eyes wandered from Viktor's, out the tower window and over the waves crashing at the castle's base hundreds of feet below. "'S no different from any of the others."

"The hell it isn't," said Viktor. "He was with you every night."

McDohl shrugged. "He was my servant," he said, as if that explained everything.

"Right. And how many servants do that for their masters?"

"All of them," McDohl responded instantly, before the certainty slowly left his eyes. "Don't they?" He looked, suddenly, like what he was - an unsure adolescent, in way over his head.

It took a moment for the words to sink in, and then it was Viktor's turn to react with shocked silence. No _wonder_ McDohl was hurting. And the boy had just now realised. "Aw, jesus, kid," he said finally. 

McDohl gave a short, bitter bark of laughter. "One of these days, this war will be over," he said, mouth twisting slightly at one corner.

"Yeah," Viktor agreed, and brought his hand up to rest - just briefly - against McDohl's shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> I was a little heartbroken when these two only got a walk-on in Suikoden II. They're such a great pairing. Hang in there, McDohl - it will get better. Originally written in 2004.


End file.
